gargleblasted | January Missions

Monthly Special Feature: Giardia

The Dagnir

At the head of the siege on Giardia are the Dagnir, a tall, slender, effeminate race who hail from the seventh moon of Talarda. They excel at the arts and architecture, and thus their world is a clean, elegant metropolis. In order to furnish their high-rise condos, they desire nothing less than the most beautiful furniture that can be poached from the Furniture Meadows. So far, the wild and warlike Giardians have kept the forests safe, but they haven't been able to do anything about the Dagnir satellite base in orbit around their planet.

(Here's a helpful tip! Can't tell male and female Dagnir apart? Neither can most. However, if you can sneak a peak under their flowing robes, there's an easy way to find out: The females have wings!)

The Giardians

A humanoid race with dwarf-like proportions and lengthy, luxurious beards, the Giardians are a simple folk who love music and nature. They are agile climbers and prefer to spend their whole lives in the branches of their tree homes, rarely setting foot on the ground if it can be helped. They love beer above all things, and appear to subsist solely on the drink and various food-like derivatives.

Male and female Giardians alike are heavily bearded and difficult to distinguish. As it's considered extremely rude to ask after an individual's gender, even among Giardians, we don't recommend attempting to figure out which is which in your encounters with these gentle folk this month.

HELP WANTED

Blue Collar

1.) The Lightning Post needs someone to deliver the paper. Slots: [2] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The Green Fairy Tavern needs foragers to gather bowlshrooms and steingourds. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) The Dagnir need maids to keep their satellite base tidy. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
4.) The Giardians need gardeners, by which we mean handymen. Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]
5.) The Dagnir need woodworkers to make goods from lumber from the Iamblia Forest. Slots: [4] Pay: [CEO]

White Collar

1.) The Dagnir need someone to watch tree movements and migrations over radar. Slots: [5] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
2.) The Seen Library needs book shelvers. Slots: 4 Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) The Seen Library needs librarians. Slots: [2] Pay: [College Degree]
4.) Gigolas and Lemli, the star-crossed lovers, need messengers to deliver their secret letters. Slots: [2] Pay: [College Degree]
5.) The Good Lord Narmin Holyender needs bankers to count his coffers. Slots: [3] Pay: [CEO]

Culinary

1.) Kobayashi's Sushi & Pizza needs someone to deliver takeout. Slots: [3] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The Green Fairy Tavern needs beermaids. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
3.) The Green Fairy Tavern needs chefs to serve up their special beer and spider egg soup. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
4.) The Oakleaf Bakery needs bakers to make beerbread and beerbrownies. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
5.) The Godliver Brewery needs brewmasters of legend. Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]

Retail

1.) The Iamblia Forest needs souvenir sellers. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) Firecutter's Legendary Artifacts needs tailors to fit clothes and armor with menacing spikes. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]

Health & Science

1.) The Giardians need tree huggers to counsel troubled foliage. Slots: [5] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) Nebula Nursery needs day-care sitters. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) Supernova High School needs school nurses. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
4.) St. Xlakkyr XVII Memorial Hospital needs extra nurses to remove everyone's splinters. Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]
5.) St. Xlakkyr XVII Memorial Hospital needs extra medical staff to help with a recent outbreak of the highly contagious Burning Loins Syndrome. Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]
6.) The Giardians need veterinarians who know how to spay and neuter animals to help get their housecat population back under control. Slots: [4] Pay: [CEO]

Law & Order

1.) The S.S. Thor needs patrol officers to check that no one is cheating on their saving throws. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The Iamblia Forest needs blindfolded referees for the game of Red Light, Green Light. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
3.) The Good Lord Narmin Holyender needs yes men. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]

Education

1.) Dwarf Star Elementary School needs primary school students. Slots: [***SPECIAL: Unlimited - for children 12 and under only!] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) Supernova High School needs high school students. Slots: [***SPECIAL: Unlimited - for children 13 - 18 only!] Pay: [Minimum]
3.) Neutron Community College needs college students. Slots: [***SPECIAL: Unlimited - for adults age 18+ only!] Pay: [Minimum]
4.) Dwarf Star Elementary School needs primary school teachers. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
5.) Supernova High School needs high school teachers. Slots: [3] Pay: [College Degree]
6.) Neutron Community College needs college professors. Slots: [2] Pay: [College Degree]

Arts & Entertainment

1.) Doddig Bravefighter and Remhi Holyender need a ringbearer, a flower girl, an organ player and a priest for their wedding party. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The Giardians need beard braiders. Slots: [5] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) The Dagnir need interior designers to spruce up their satellite base. Slots: [5] Pay: [College Degree]
4.) The Giardian newspaper, The Morning Wood, needs overpaid political cartoonists. Slots: [5] Pay: [CEO]

News & Media

1.) The Giardians need public service announcers in bear costumes to speak for the trees. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The Giardian newspaper, The Morning Wood, needs reporters to write articles. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) Dhorhump's Head-thumping Stumpers needs trivia question writers. Slots: [4] Pay: [CEO]

Mercenary

1.) The Iamblia Forest needs Red Light, Green Light players. Slots: [10] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The Dagnir need Giardian tossers. Slots: [5] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) The Giardians need valiant firefighters to protect their forests from fire-breathing termites. Slots: [6] Pay: [College Degree]
4.) The Giardians need warriors to battle giant spiders. Slots: [5] Pay: [CEO]

Criminal

1.) The Dagnir need tree-punchers to aid with their furniture hunts. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) Carta Cartel needs loud, late-night party-goers to cause noise disturbances on the S.S. Thor. Slots: [6] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) The Wretched Brigand Rughal Honorbreaker needs animal tamers to ride the giant spiders. Slots: [4] Pay: [College Degree]
4.) The Dagnir need stealthy lumberjacks to sneak into the Iamblia Forest and chop down some trees. Slots: [4] Pay: [CEO]
5.) The Dark Dagnir Lord, Vzzrztt'zz, needs conspirators to help the Giardian housecat population into a furious feline army Slots: [4] Pay: [CEO]

Special Missions

I) Lady Une (11ady) is hiring for Preventer.
1.) Preventer needs secretaries to deal with the perils of bureaucracy. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
2.) Preventer needs freelance agents to deal with actual peril. Specifics will be discussed with the employer. Signing a confidentiality agreement may be required. Slots: [5] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) Preventer needs droid maintenance to repair and maintain assistant droids at Preventer HQ. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]
4.) Preventer needs a computer expert with hacking skills. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]

II) Professor Mordin Solus (neuterskrogan) is hiring for Refugee's Haven Medical Clinic.
1.) The Clinic needs a janitor. Slots: [1] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The Clinic needs receptionists. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) The Clinic needs nurses. Slots: [3] Pay: [College Degree]
4.) The Clinic needs security guards. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]

III) Arisato Minato (foolish_seal) is hiring for The Crimson Lion.
1.) The Crimson Lion needs waitstaff. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The Crimson Lion needs chefs for Japanese-style cuisine. Slots: [2] Pay: [College Degree]

IV) Zuko (deconflagration) is hiring for 4tea2.
1.) 4tea2 needs waitstaff to make and serve tea to thirsty customers. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) 4tea2 needs an assistant baker to help make assorted sweets and pastries, and maybe the occasional sandwich, fresh daily, for hungry customers. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]
3.) 4tea2 needs an assistant manager to help with the running of the shop. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]

V) Fox McCloud (all_range_mode) is hiring for The Devil's Nest.
1.) The Devil's Nest needs a janitor. Slots: [1] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The Devil's Nest needs bouncers. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) The Devil's Nest needs bartenders. Slots: [2] Pay: [College Degree]

VI) Hatake Kakashi (lightnings) is hiring for KARMA.
1.) KARMA needs interns. Slots: [6] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) KARMA needs secretaries. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]

VII) Barbara Gordon (fortuna_lector) is hiring for Clocktower Systems.
1.) Clocktower Systems needs marketing employees. Slots: [2] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) Clocktower Systems needs a programmer. Slots: [1] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]

VIII) Lemina Ausa (megamagicpower) is hiring for The Magic Guild.
1.) The Magic Guild needs apprentice magicians to study magic. Slots: [Unlimited] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The Magic Guild needs magic teachers. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) The Magic Guild needs magic item artisans. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
4.) The Magic Guild needs a bookkeeper. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]

IX) Germany (mysecrethobby) is hiring for Der Biergarten Brewery & Pub.
1.) Der Biergarten needs an assistant brewer to help with the brewing of the beer. Slots: [1] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
2.) Der Biergarten needs an equipment operator to make sure the machines are running smoothly. Slots: [1] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) Der Biergarten needs bartenders to serve the beer and take care of the customers in the pub. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]

Note: The missions will be posted on every floor of the S.S. Thor and can also be found in the Lightning Post for those already subscribing, as well as on the network. Unless otherwise stated it's first come first serve, so just reply to the right comment below and you'll get it! However, to make sure everyone has a chance to get a mission, you have to wait until next Tuesday, January 8th before you can apply for a second one. (Does not apply to Unlimited Missions!)

To see what the requirements are for applying for Somewhat Decent, College Degree, and CEO level Wages, go here, and make sure to comment if you want the promotion!

Each mission lasts a month, and the paycheck will be handed out after the mission has been completed.

For those characters (and muns) who appreciate a bit more stability in their life, we have a Permanent Jobs Listing. If you're interested in pursuing this, please read all the instructions carefully before applying.

There is a separate post for characters who are ready to start up their own businesses. Potential permanent PC employees of these businesses can comment directly to the business' description in this post, and all hiring/wages/details can be hammered out directly between the players involved.

Replies will be in character, and can be Public, Anonymous or Private. Feel free to thread ICly for workplace shenanigans! Start a new thread for any OOC questions.

January Missions

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Re: beard braiders