gargleblasted | April Missions!

BREAKING NEWS: THOR DOWNED IN BROWVARD UNIVERSITY
BUT YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT, DIDN'T YOU?

Engineering To The Rescue

Mere minutes after the crash of the S.S. Thor, our captains were contacted by the head of the Browvard Engineering Department, Professor Otto Nomius, who called it a thrilling and unique opportunity. "We'll fix up your ship for free! It can be our final project for the semester!" The captains agreed, and the entire class boarded the S.S. Thor to inspect the damage.

"It appears that the Beta Sigma Bro laser pierced not only the hull, but the satellite antigrav engine, which the ship uses to achieve a rapid, efficient stabilization when entering planetary orbit..." one student was quoted as saying, including a lengthier explanation of what's wrong with the ship which this reporter didn't feel like writing down. "However, your problems are a little larger than that. Was your ship hit with a Probability Regulator recently? We took a peek at some of the externals hooked up your Infinite Improbability Drive -- we couldn't help ourselves, since Prof. Nomius won't allow those things in his classroom -- and it looks like the butterfly pulsar in your chaoscillator needs to be replaced. Your Schoedinger Catalytic Converter might be dead, too, but we can't tell for sure until we open it up." The reporter asked what those things are, and regretted it for the next fifteen minutes.

"It's actually very fortunate that you crashed here! Problems like those usually result in some very unlucky results from your Drive." The student declined to comment on this obvious contradiction. "If you carried on like that, who knows where you might have ended up. Lost forever, maybe. Anyway, we should be able to fix this up for you before the end of the month. Once you clean up all that toilet paper, you should be good to go!"

Wait, What Toilet Paper?

Unfortunately, once the S.S. Thor was evacuated, a second squad from Beta Sigma Bro raided the ship for the next phase of their pranking. Specifically, they targeted the Residential District, assaulting innocent refugee rooms with toilet paper, eggs and silly string. They also spilled beer on the carpet, and it smells like someone lit up on the fifth floor, and you don't want to see what they've done in the bathrooms... basically, it's a terrible, terrible mess.

However, fortunately enough, the good boys at the Bravo Oscar Yankee house have graciously volunteered to help clean up the damage left behind by their party-hard rivals. Additionally, numerous fraternities and sororities have agreed to temporarily house the ship's refugees! They're even willing to pay refugees for performing chores around the house. However, please note that while you may join any fraternity or sorority you want, regardless of your own gender, there may be some entry requirements to help you feel a part of the brotherhood or sisterhood for the month.

Returning to the matter of the S.S. Thor: Business owners will be glad to know that the rest of the ship was mostly spared from the pranking attack. Additionally, since the ship landed in an extremely convenient location, getting on and off the ship should be quicker and easier this month than ever. So, unless anyone was silly enough to set up shop in the Residential District, all stores should have no problem conducting business for the remainder of the month.

SIGN UPS FOR TEMPORARY HOUSING

HOW THIS WILL WORK:

Since this is not merely where your character will be working for the month, but also where they will live, we're going to have a month without job slots! Simply comment to whichever house you'll be joining, and your character can perform one or many of their chores for the month. You can even make up a few of your own, as long as you stay true to the house's principles. However, pay grades still apply, and this month can be counted towards promotions.

The exception to all this are the Special Missions, which will be posted as normal. For those who would rather spend the month working for fellow refugees, or who aren't interested in having their character work at all this month, we recommend you throw your character into Opta Outta House, the Freshman Dorm.

Bravo Oscar Yankee
The apples of Browvard's eye, the do-good dandies of this Fraternity are always there to help their fellow man! They're a little old fashioned, but that's part of their charm. They value ethics and chivalry, and are quite proud of the bonds of brotherhood they've formed. On Tuesday evenings, you can stop into the common room and listen to their barbershop quartet practice. They might even let you join in! Splendid!

Tartan colors: Brown and gold.

Rules: Keep well-groomed and well-dressed. The boys will help you with your ironing, if you need it. A good hat is highly recommended, and a fine mustache will win you their praises.

Chores:
Minimum Wage: Shining shoes, making the beds, helping little old ladies cross the street
Somewhat Decent: Tuning the piano in the common room, brewing coffee in the morning, fetching a copy of the newspaper for everyone in the house
College Degree: Playing the piano in the common room, trimming hair, ironing trousers
CEO: Helping with the cleanup of the S.S. Thor, taking on the house champ in a boxing match (play fair, gents!)

Beta Sigma Bro
Admit it, some of you thought that prank attack on the S.S. Thor was hilarious. The true model of a modern-day frat boys, these boys are all about parties, pranks and beer. They're pretty popular on the campus, unless you happen to be in one of the frats that they frequently target. Which is pretty much all of them.

Tartan colors: Red and gold.

Rules: Must pass the hazing ritual. This takes a few different forms, such as streaking across the campus or performing a keg stand.

Chores:
Minimum Wage: Picking up pizzas, stocking up on eggs and toilet paper
Somewhat Decent: Buying beer, distracting the Tru-Bots
College Degree: Spraypainting one of the other frats, scoring a keg, mooning nerds
CEO: Finding girls for that party next Saturday

Gucci Armani Prada
Like, hello? How have you not heard of the, like, most popular sorority on campus? Everyone here is pretty and gets invited to all the parties! Oh my god, NO, the girls here are not DUMB, OKAY??? We might be bad at boring hard stuff like math and science and other things NO ONE NEEDS, but we are so totally awesome at the things that really matter, like how to apply makeup and hook up with cute guys. Seriously you guys, seriously, the only math you need is plussing and minusing, so you don't run out of money before you can call your dad up and ask him for more.

Tartan colors: Pink and zebra stripes.

Rules: Fashion is a must. Prepare for a makeover as soon as you step in the door, and expect to wear a lot of pink this month.

Chores:
Minimum Wage: Manicures and pedicures, makeup artist, buying cupcakes when their sweet tooth acts up
Somewhat Decent: Walking all their little dogs, listening to their drama bomb for an hour or two, do their homework
College Degree: Hair styling, fashion consultant for shopping trips
CEO: Photographer for Facebook photos, redecorating the house, writing their term papers

Sulu Data Spock
If there's one fraternity targeted by Beta Sigma Bro more than any other, it's this one. They're considered the smartest bunch on campus, but it's probably more accurate to say that they know more useless trivia than anyone else. On the upside, they have one of the most well-stocked game rooms you'll ever see in their basement. Every Saturday night, the whole house gathers down there for an epic session of D&D.

Tartan colors: Neon green and black, with LEDs sewn into the fabric.

Rules: The security system will not allow you into the house unless you are wearing glasses. They'll loan you some non-prescription ones, if you don't already have your own.

Chores:
Minimum Wage: Crusty sock collector, designated red shirt, Mountain Dew & Cheetos gofer, neckbeard shaver
Somewhat Decent: Dice organizer, keyboard cleaner, phaser tester, designated orc LARPer
College Degree: Designated healer, figure painter, wedgie guard
CEO: LAN technician, map drawer, designated tank

Tesla Bunsen Sine
This sorority is probably the actual smartest bunch on campus. But they're not particularly well known, since they're heavily absorbed in their studies and don't leave the house much. Their walls are covered with bookshelves, stocked entirely of reference books, and they have a variety of different laboratories, each specialized to a certain branch of science or physics. Which you'll have free access to, of course

Tartan colors: White and biohazard orange.

Rules: Always wear a labcoat and safety goggles! Yes, even when you're not working in one of the labs. Trust us on this one.

Chores:
Minimum Wage: Rat cage cleaner, rat maze runner, cleaner of Schrodinger's litterbox
Somewhat Decent: Betta fish feeder, beaker and flask washer, biohazardous waste disposer
College Degree: Microbe cataloger, data entry, rat maze builder
CEO: Portal tester, gravity gun technician, parallel universe spelunker

I Phelta Thi
Many a young man will dream of coming to Browvard as a new man, leaving behind that awkward, unpopular boy they used to be. On their first day on campus, they breathe an oath to themselves that this will be their new beginning, that they will show the world how suave they can really be. His parties will be legendary, and ladies will have to form a line outside his door just to spend the night with him. And then next thing he knows, he's in I Phelta Thi, peeping at girls and raiding the sororities for panties.

Tartan colors: Blue and... yellow? I think that was it. Does anyone remember?

Rules: BYOB -- Bring Your Own Binoculars.

Chores:
Minimum Wage: Raiding sororities for panties and bras
Somewhat Decent: Photographing girls through their bedroom or bathroom windows
College Degree: Organizing a wet t-shirt contest
CEO: Getting an actual girl inside the fraternity. 8|

Mocha Fudge Ripple
Ever heard of the Freshman 15? For the ladies of this sorority, it's more like the Freshman 50. On the upside, the kitchen is one of the largest and most well-equipped to be found, even rivaling the best in Browvard's Culinary Campus. And if you don't feel like cooking for yourself, you can pretty much be sure someone else will have an extra plate, a spare pizza, or maybe a couple dozen cupcakes to spare. Unfortunately, it's a long walk to the gym, and it's so hard to find the time...

Tartan colors: Chocolate, vanilla and strawberry.

Rules: Monday is nacho day, Tuesday is for barbecues, cookie swaps are on Wednesdays, pizza parties are on Thursdays, and Friday is movie and ice cream sundaes night. You must attend at least one per week!

Chores:
Minimum Wage: Sous chef, vacuuming up crumbs out of the carpet
Somewhat Decent: Cleaning all the expired food out of the fridge, buying groceries
College Degree: Picking up the pizzas (must be able to lift 50 lbs. or more), baking cookies
CEO: Cooking dinner for everyone, contributing new recipes to the house cookbook

Quid Pro Quo
A fraternity of nothing but law students. It feels like everyone here is looking down their nose at you, and arguments are a long, dramatic ordeal. However, if you can hold your ground and learn to speak their language, they will recognize you as one of their own and teach you the ways of one of the most feared fraternities in all of Browvard.

Tartan colors: Black and white.

Rules: You will have to sign a contract before you can enter. There's ten pages of fine print, but we assure you that you will not be signing yourself into servitude.

Chores:
Minimum Wage: Typing up dictations, organizing filing cabinets
Somewhat Decent: Running to the library to pick up books necessary for research, making tea
College Degree: Mediating arguments over whose turn it was to take out the garbage or buy milk
CEO: Debate practice partners, finding new loopholes in the school rules to exploit

Moonbeam Willowtree Hufflepuff
This sorority is all about loving the earth and good mojo. Their building is entirely green, they cook organic, vegan meals for all their members, and when the mood takes them they'll head outside to play some guitar and sing about love and peace. However, they do have a tough side, and whenever there's a social injustice or anti-environmental action to crusade against, they'll be the first to nonviolently protest it. It's also suspected that there's a lot of drug use here, which they believe should be legalized.

Tartan colors: Forest green and ocean blue.

Rules: At least once before the month is over, you must participate in one of their many, many protest rallies.

Chores:
Minimum Wage: Tending to the garden, washing up, baking brownies
Somewhat Decent: Tree huggers, laundry hangers, incense burners, rose tinters
College Degree: Animal rights vigilantes, anti-meat spokespeople, tie-dyers
CEO: Life coaches, Flower singers, den mother

Chi Xi Stigma
This sorority kind of looks like a haunted house all year 'round. Piercings and tattoos are abundant, drug use is casual, and the general attitude of the house is apathy. There's an interesting artistic side to this sorority, but while the music can be pretty good, the poetry is invariably awful. Whatever, though. If you don't like the sun, you'll probably be pretty happy here.

Tartan colors: Black and crimson.

Rules: Must wear nothing but black. Period.

Chores:
Minimum Wage: Umbrella carrier, poetry flunky, vampire teeth molder, hair redyer
Somewhat Decent: Body piercing technician, fake blood mixer, brooding understudy
College Degree: Tattoo artist, vampire fiction writer, eyeliner and makeup technician
CEO: Keeper of diaries, gloom technician, abyss gazer

Opta Outta House
The largest Freshman Dorm in Browvard. There's always room for more in here! In fact, while most of the students are crammed like sardines into their rooms, you'll find the upper floors are curiously unoccupied, waiting for new arrivals. Feel free to squat in one of these rooms by yourself, or with a few friends! The rooms might seem small, but you can squeeze a good six or seven people in there. Trust us.

HELP WANTED

Special Missions

I) Lady Une (11ady) is hiring for Preventer.
1.) Preventer needs secretaries to deal with the perils of bureaucracy. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
2.) Preventer needs freelance agents to deal with actual peril. Specifics will be discussed with the employer. Signing a confidentiality agreement may be required. Slots: [5] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) Preventer needs droid maintenance to repair and maintain assistant droids at Preventer HQ. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]
4.) Preventer needs a computer expert with hacking skills. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]

II) Professor Mordin Solus (neuterskrogan) is hiring for Refugee's Haven Medical Clinic.
1.) The Clinic needs a janitor. Slots: [1] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The Clinic needs receptionists. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) The Clinic needs nurses. Slots: [3] Pay: [College Degree]
4.) The Clinic needs security guards. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]

III) Arisato Minato (foolish_seal) is hiring for The Crimson Lion.
1.) The Crimson Lion needs waitstaff. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The Crimson Lion needs chefs for Japanese-style cuisine. Slots: [2] Pay: [College Degree]

IV) Zuko (deconflagration) is hiring for 4tea2.
1.) 4tea2 needs waitstaff to make and serve tea to thirsty customers. Slots: [4] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) 4tea2 needs an assistant baker to help make assorted sweets and pastries, and maybe the occasional sandwich, fresh daily, for hungry customers. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]
3.) 4tea2 needs an assistant manager to help with the running of the shop. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]

V) Fox McCloud (all_range_mode) is hiring for The Devil's Nest.
1.) The Devil's Nest needs a janitor. Slots: [1] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The Devil's Nest needs bouncers. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) The Devil's Nest needs bartenders. Slots: [2] Pay: [College Degree]

VI) Barbara Gordon (fortuna_lector) is hiring for Clocktower Systems.
1.) Clocktower Systems needs marketing employees. Slots: [2] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) Clocktower Systems needs a programmer. Slots: [1] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]

VII) Lady Une (11ady) is hiring for Der Biergarten Brewery & Pub. Employees here may double as agents for Preventer with respect to gathering information and other matters that will be discussed on a case by case basis.
1.) Der Biergarten needs an assistant brewer to help with the brewing of the beer. Slots: [1] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
2.) Der Biergarten needs an equipment operator to make sure the machines are running smoothly. Slots: [1] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) Der Biergarten needs bartenders to serve the beer and take care of the customers in the pub. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]

IIIV) Seto Kaiba (shutupandduelme) is hiring for Kaiba Corporation.
1.) Kaiba Corporation needs someone to make coffee, stuff envelopes, and jump when the boss tells you to. Slots: [2] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) Kaiba Corporation seeks someone to program gaming devices and enter code into a central server. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) Kaiba Corporation wants someone who can enhance and improve the construction of holographic projectors and other entertainment related technology. Slots: [2] Pay: [College Degree]

IX) Lemina Ausa (megamagicpower) is hiring for The Magic Guild.
1.) The Magic Guild needs apprentice magicians to study magic. Slots: [Unlimited] Pay: [Minimum]
2.) The Magic Guild needs magic teachers. Slots: [4] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
3.) The Magic Guild needs magic item artisans. Slots: [2] Pay: [Somewhat Decent]
4.) The Magic Guild needs a bookkeeper. Slots: [1] Pay: [College Degree]

Note: The missions will be posted on every floor of the S.S. Thor and can also be found in the Lightning Post for those already subscribing, as well as on the network. Unless otherwise stated it's first come first serve, so just reply to the right comment below and you'll get it! This month, you can only reply to one Fraternity or Sorority, but you can apply for one Special Mission in addition to that. To make sure everyone has a chance at the Special Missions, you have to wait until next Saturday, April 6th before you can apply for a second one. (Does not apply to Unlimited Missions!)

To see what the requirements are for applying for Somewhat Decent, College Degree, and CEO level Wages, go here, and make sure to comment if you want the promotion!

Each mission lasts a month, and the paycheck will be handed out after the mission has been completed.

For those characters (and muns) who appreciate a bit more stability in their life, we have a Permanent Jobs Listing. If you're interested in pursuing this, please read all the instructions carefully before applying.

There is a separate post for characters who are ready to start up their own businesses. Potential permanent PC employees of these businesses can comment directly to the business' description in this post, and all hiring/wages/details can be hammered out directly between the players involved.

Replies will be in character, and can be Public, Anonymous or Private. Feel free to thread ICly for workplace shenanigans! Start a new thread for any OOC questions.

April Missions!

Bartenders

Re: Bartenders

Re: Bartenders